My husband and I recently sold the home our children remember as their anchor for many family memories. All of our children are adults with lives of their own now, and my honey and I thought it was time for us to "get a life"! So the family homestead went on the market. We were surprised at our adult children's reactions. The youngest, who had been there from her tenderest years, applauded our action. The two older ones, a daughter and son, reacted differently and questioned why we would want to move on.
We spent the last evening in our empty house having a picnic on the bare dining room floor with the entire family: 3 adult children, hubby and I, one son-in-law, one grandson, one grand-dog, one grand-cat, paper plates, plastic silverware, and a towel to clean the potential mess. We talked about the memories and our conversation bounced off the empty walls in echoes, just like our memories were echoes of the past. Each child took some time alone in the house saying their respective good-byes. One had tears. One walked through the whole house touching the walls and whispering, "Good-bye, sweet friend. Treat your new owners with the same love we felt here." One seemed unaffected.
When all had left, I was alone in the place that had housed much pain and joy. Eighteen years of an abundant life full of everything life had to offer. Sweet memories, even the painful ones, because we survived. So, I too, walked the house saying good-bye. I checked to make sure all cabinets, cupboards and closets were empty, that nothing was askew. I locked the door and walked for the last time past my neatly trimmed hedge through the perennial garden and around to the backyard to bid farewell to my 11 giant oak trees who had sheltered us so many years. As I rounded the corner I realized the rope swing in our oak tree was missing. Someone had obviously stolen it in the hubbub of our move and I hadn't noticed. The buyers had no children so it was not an issue, but I was puzzled why someone would take the swing.
The day after our closing, during our homeless time, I shared with the kids about the missing swing. Our two daughters, who seemed most affected by the move. promptly informed me that our adult son had cut it down. He had climbed the tree the last night while the girls were crying in the house, cut the rope and threw the swing in his car. He wanted to keep it to put in the tree at our farm. I wondered at the different way each of us had said our farewells, and realized that a house has the most value when it is a home.
Oh, Maureen, I think I would cry if my home of memories were torn down. That's one of the joys of living in our current house. We've saved someone's place of memories from being demolished! Of course, they would drive by the lot which is now becoming a parking ramp and not know where the house went, but I'm sure city records could be searched and it would be found.
Posted by: Bonnie Erickson | February 17, 2007 at 01:25 PM
Bonnie, what a lovely post. My childhood home was demolished a few years ago. My family had many memories there, some good, some bad, all ours. It is so wonderful that you reconnected with the original owners through this post. What a wonderful thing for both families.
Posted by: Maureen Francis | February 17, 2007 at 09:45 AM
Very karmic that the two of you found each other on this blog, Bonnie. I've been sitting here thinking about the two 'family' homes from my past; the one I lived in until I was 11? I can bring up all my childhoold memories about that home. I drove past it many times over the decades. My parents moved to the burbs when I was almost 12 and my mother and I sold that home in 1999. I never have not had any desire to drive by that house. I guess it's all about where the memories are that we want to remember. Thanks for giving me a chance to reflect; I love it when your muse is like this.
Posted by: Carole C | February 17, 2007 at 09:42 AM
Leanne, I'm guessing that my family was really the second owner of the Carlson home although we bought from a young couple (not the Carlsons) who had lived there just over a year. They really had not had time to make too many memories so the Carlsons and our family have loved the home they built. Yes, I still drive by, as well, . . . slowly.
Posted by: Bonnie Erickson | February 17, 2007 at 09:31 AM
I can relate to this story as my family has talked about how we'd feel when the time comes and my parents decide to sell "the family home"... the one where we did most of our growing up. Funny thing is, the home has only had two owners and the children of the original owners still occassionally drive by and just stare at their original family home for a minute or two, no doubt reminiscing.
Posted by: Leanne P. | February 17, 2007 at 03:02 AM
Sue, You started with "wow" and I return the same feeling. Never would I have expected the Carlsons to read about their lovingly built home on my blog. I am indeed shocked. We made many changes over the time we lived there and I'll e-mail you some photos privately. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. We, also, had a huge garden as I grew and canned most of our food while the kids were still home. The chicken coop was a playhouse for us as well and we allowed the kids to paint the interior in their color choices. It also acted as a storage spot for the toilet paper they secreted away for terrorizing their friends! That little secret just was revealed to me recently! Yes, the house was loved and it held our family's memories as it did yours. Isn't the world a small place!
Posted by: Bonnie Erickson | February 16, 2007 at 06:11 PM
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this on your website. I am one of the children of the Carlson family. My father (Bob Carlson)
built this fantastic, solid, much loved family home. We have pictures of the buiding phases including when we lived out of the basement, as our father paid for materials and built our home bit by bit. I especially remember his personal touches of cedar lined closets and built in dresser drawers and desks. We have many great memories of the Carlson's family years here and the great oak trees. We used to have an apple and plum orchard and raspberry bushes along with a huge garden. When we were little we had a chicken coop, which later was cleaned out and redone into a playhouse. Dad was also a bee keeper for awhile and I used to love helping extract the honey. Thank you so much for sharing your families love for this wonderful home. My Sister, Sandy, sent this link to me. Wish we had known that it was going on the market, as with such a large family, I am sure one of our children would have been interested in purchasing the home back into the Carlson Clan. Many blessings to you in your new home and to your wonderful loving family.
Sue B. (living in northern Minn. near where our parents retired by Bemidji)
Posted by: Sue Belter | February 16, 2007 at 11:26 AM